Radioactive

My Turn! 

Today is Saturday,  June 29th - our 45th wedding anniversary - that is in the eyes of the church.  In the eyes of God it has been 46 years.  That we have come this far is amazing to me.  Mostly, because Robin is still here.  It has been a spectacular marriage - we are so blessed.

Most of you have heard the story of how we met.  I was working for the summer at CIL on Bloor St. in downtown Toronto.  Robin was a young chemicals salesman for CIL.  I did not know him as I worked in another division.  But the stars aligned, and I was asked to fill in for the receptionist who did not show up for work that day.  Robin came out to the lobby at noon to meet up with some colleagues so that they might go out for lunch.  (I think I had a brown bag with a Cheez Whiz sandwich.)  He smoothly sidled over to chat and asked if I would be interested in going to a movie and dinner the next night.  I replied that I would love to.  He left in the elevator with his friends.  That's when I freaked out!  What was I thinking?  I had a steady boyfriend of two years!  What does one do when looking for help?  Call Mom!  (Who knows if any customers needed assistance.  I was desperate!)  Interestingly, my mother's response when I told her what I had done, was to say "Oh, thank God!"  Apparently she had never cared for the boyfriend and was delighted that I was branching out.  I was apprehensive as he was (and is) so much older than me!   Our first date was magical and instantly I had a vision that this was the man I would marry.  We were engaged two months later.

Robin introduced me to so many wonderful gifts.  The first would be his mother, who embraced me from the start.  Her kind heart, infectious humor and loving ways enriched our lives for years.  She gave selflessly of herself to help us when we needed her most and helped to raise our two beautiful daughters so that we might both pursue our careers.

He taught me to listen more carefully to music of every genre and still fills our house with folk, rock, country and classical sounds daily.  In fact, this morning I awoke to Cat Stevens' Foreigner Suite which is the tape we listened to all the way to the Canadian maritimes on our honeymoon.  (Clearly, the romance lives on!)   He has tried valiantly to teach me to dance as he possesses an incredible sense of rhythm.  In this one endeavor he has failed miserably!

 

In his despair,  Robin had to find new dance partners.

He has filled my life with adventure and we have been fortunate to have traveled the world together.  He even moved me to Alabama which was most certainly the best move we ever made!  Roll  tide!  Most importantly, he gave me two beautiful children, who in turn have given us six magnificent grandchildren.  My childhood dreams have been fulfilled.

But this blog was begun because Robin had something to say about his experiences with cancer and most assuredly, this gift he also shared with me.  You are familiar with the story - diagnoses that go back over 25 years, treatments that destroyed his health, and the miracle of a cure.  While the cancer patient most definitely suffers the indignities of the disease, the caregiver endures the heartache, the fear, the anguish of watching a loved one in pain and discomfort,  the uncertainty of the future, the fear of being left alone.  So many times we were given little hope that he would survive another year or even a few months.  I often imagined what my life would be like on my own.  Dr. Salter first warned me in Tuscaloosa when she hugged us and sent us to experts in Birmingham.  The nurses in the infusion center at the Kirklin Clinic also ensured that I was comfortable and prepared to deal with an uncertain future.  Later, in Fort Myers, Dr. Hart gently suggested that we did not have much time and introduced us to the clinical trial at Moffitt.   The one time I most certainly felt that we had run out of luck was that fateful Sunday in the ER in Fort Myers.  Scans indicated a large mass on Robin's brain.  The doctor and nurse both hugged me as my husband was wheeled off to surgery.  "We know what this is, don't we?", they asked.  "Good luck to you", they said.  Father Bob later blessed me after he had administered last rites to Robin.  So many times I was prepared for the end as it did seem inevitable.  But here we are so many years and struggles later and I now believe that he will be with me always.  I am no longer ready to say goodbye.  I am grateful for our years together and am determined that we will go on forever.

The Child Bride

Your comments are, as always, welcome.

jrobinmullen@gmail.com
kmtmullen@gmail.com