A Small World After All
In My Bloodstream: Lisinopril, Amlodopine, Omeprazole, Tamsulosin
On The Stereo: Gulf Of Mexico: Shawn Mullins
I would like to tell you about some of last week's events. I will try to keep it short and to the point. Hopefully I can remember the point, when and if I get to the end. Hang on.
My good friend and best man at my wedding, Don Young, called to apologize for not calling over the past few weeks. He had been at the beck and call of one of his oldest friends and roommate in college. His friend had just died, and Don was heartbroken. His friend had, for months, been fighting a losing battle with cancer, and had suffered, painfully, for far too long.
Don knew that I had lost several friends over the past year, one of whom I had known for almost 50 years. We were experiencing a similar grief.
There is an expectation of death. We know it will take the elderly (anybody older than you), and the longer it takes to show up, the more satisfied we are. When our parents die, or an older friend or neighbor, we hear comments. "He lived a long life." "She didn't suffer at the end." It might take some time to heal from your loss, but we do. And we understand. And we move on.
Eventually, people of our era, also pass on. And sometimes it is not a peaceful exit.
When we lose a contemporary, especially one who is close to us, we are stricken. Logic evades us, and emotion intercedes. Pure, painful, crippling, emotion. Grief so raw that it cannot be tolerated. We do not lose a sliver of our life, we lose a timber of our foundation. A part of who we are is gone. Someone who shared in your making. Who helped forge your character. Someone who was there when you wanted to laugh or when you needed some help, or comfort. Gone.
Your world has suddenly diminished. You will be forever, more lonely. A new weight is added onto your life's journey.
I did not know Jim Hayhurst, but I have listened to Don talk of him over our many years together. Don and Jim and Bill Simpson were fraternity brothers, roommates, and inseparable. They all went on to do great things, and they remained friends, until one moved on. They called themselves the SHY guys, and they laughed and loved their way through life, talking to each other, often. And this was a numbing blow.
When Don and I said goodby, on the phone, he said Jim's obit should be in the paper. I was curious. I knew that Jim had been a giant in advertising. I had seen his company in the business section of the newspapers during my time in Canada. I had never associated the owner of the business as being Don's friend. Don always talked about their early days and the essence of his friends, and never about wealth or station. Don is like that. He never brags or "drops names", to show his importance. Only during this phone conversation, did I discover that his friend was the famous Jim Hayhurst.
My curiosity was tweaked. I wanted to know more about him.
His obituary was out the next day. I found it online in the Globe And Mail, one of Canada's national newspapers. It might well have been in others, but the article gave me what I needed.
JIM HAYHURST SR. Jim (Hurst/Dippy), son of Jean and Palmer Hayhurst, passed away February 29, 2020 at his farm near Collingwood, Ontario, surrounded by his children Cindy (Cid), Jim Jr. (Jimmy) and Barb (Boo), and his loyal dog, Scout. He spent his final days telling stories and sharing advice with his seven grandchildren (Ben, Statten, Quinn, Cameron, Tatum, Griffen, and PJ); supported by his kids-in-law Scott Hanson, Beth Hayhurst and Paddy Flynn; and remembering old times with his brothers George and Doug, plus countless friends who visited, called and wrote. Jim never had a bucket list because "My life has been the most incredible series of people and adventures. Even I wouldn't have come up with that list." In 1969, Jim caused an international incident by photographing Russians drinking Alberta Vodka in Red Square for an ad campaign. He devised infamous strategies at PC leadership races, including John Crosbie's ill-fated blimp. He was part of the tiny but mighty Arctic Trading Company when they beat LL Bean and Neiman Marcus for "Global Catalogue of the Year." He invested in first-time entrepreneurs, often women, including the Kettle Creek Canvas Company and Smith & Jamieson Tea. Through the 1970s and '80s, Jim and his team built Hayhurst Advertising into one of the top agencies in Canada, acquiring options to buy firms in 28 countries before selling to Saatchi & Saatchi in 1985. Too young to retire, he committed himself to making a difference. He was the Chairman of Outward Bound Canada. He created the Hayhurst Career Centre, helping hundreds of people articulate their goals and achieve professional success. His "Wagon Master" metaphor captured his character better than any other title. In 1988, he and Jimmy were members of the Canadian Everest Expedition, an experience that became a speech and best-selling book, The Right Mountain. Four years later, they co-founded Trails Youth Initiatives (Trails), an award-winning outdoor-based program that sees nearly 100% of its at-risk youth graduates complete post-secondary education. Trails was his last great love and he wanted everyone to know about it. He gave the best hugs - and always to those who needed them most - whether they were an inner-city kid wanting to give up or a Bay Street CEO wanting to give back. He did both in his final days. Jim gave everyone nicknames and was adored by all who knew him. He was Canada Post's favourite stop, every executive assistant's favourite phone call and a trusted confidante to his kids' friends - and friends' kids.
This is only a portion of the article. But in this particular section I discovered the possibility of some magic. The little piece about "the blimp".
My dear friend Tom MacMillan, had been a big player in Canadian politics. He too, was deeply involved with the infamous "blimp".
At a candidates rally for the Progressive Conservatives leadership, many years ago, a stunt to create enthusiasm, went south. Inside a large arena, packed with people, all there to nominate their party's next leader, a radio controlled blimp, a large blimp was released, with Crosbie's name and the party logo, printed in huge letters on its sides. Likely due to a myriad of radio interference signals inside the building, and security issues, the blimp lost radio contact. It was on its own. It bumped into everything. It took banners down. It smashed into stage structures and it knocked people over. Thankfully, no one was seriously hurt. Maybe, just maybe, the guys who decided to put this thing up, felt a little pain. Embarrassment. Remorse. And their man lost the nomination. The good news, was the fiasco immediately became Canadian political legend. The culprits - Hayhurst and MacMillan.
So Don's great friend, and my old friend, knew each other. They had to. Sadly, neither was now around for confirmation. I called Sandy, Tom's wife, to see if she had ever met Jim, or if she knew him through Tom. She did not. Oh, well, I thought, a bit of a dead end.
Then she told me that she knew Jim's brother and his family, as they were members of the same golf club. In fact, she remembered that, years ago, she had given her daughter a book , written by Hayhurst, called The Right Mountain.
I don't know why any of this matters. Don's phone call and his depth of love for his friend, somehow set me on a mission. A mission without purpose. I had this insane belief that both Don and I were involved in this concoction of friends and death. There was a link. I don't even know why there was any import to my mission. But I was fixated.
From the beginning of my business career, these two friends, Tom and Don, have been my allies and mentors. They had been at numerous Mullen functions - weddings, birthday parties, and the likes. But they did not "know" each other. And for some reason, I have brought them some commonality. And for some really stupid reason, I feel good about it. And Jim Hayhurst, in his death, was totally responsible.
My buddy, Matson, and I, have often talked about how small our world is. How we find, and know many of the same people. John claims that we are all emptied into a funnel and eventually, as the funnel narrows, you are surrounded by people with similar attributes, occupations, homes, and lives. Good analogy I guess.
And the world in which we live our lives, is not so large after all. If you take some time to talk to people, ask questions, and pay attention, fabulous things might happen. We may find some shared history, friends, and sometimes, even love, and inner peace. The answers are often right in front of us. Often, we just do not know the right questions.
I asked, "who was Jim Hayhurst?", and now we all know. He was a titan in his industry and one of our great philanthropists. For me, he was a friend of my friend.
And, the kicker. I received the following from Sandy's daughter.
Dear Robin,
My Mum passed along your note. Thanks for sharing the kind words. Tom and I shared a special connection. He has been my greatest cheerleader throughout my business. I think we are all shocked that ALIVE Outdoors has done as well as it has. This is our 20th year in business, and every day I miss Tom, and sharing stories with him, picking his brain on things, etc. There are so many things I immediately think to share with him, and have to have faith that he is somehow still in the know.
It's funny you mentioned Jim Hayhurst. When I was lost in my 20s, and wanting to leave teaching in the classroom Jim helped me figure out my next steps. I read his book The Right Mountain at the perfect time in my life, and he was gracious enough to meet with me when I wrote him asking for help. He is a man who has left an incredible legacy. He will undoubtedly be missed by countless people.
I wish we had found the time to connect when you made the long trip to share in Tom's celebration of life. It sounded like that was an epic, hard trip for you. I am so sorry that it turned out to be so draining on so many levels. I have no doubt that Tom knew you were there. He values your friendship immensely. Thank you for making the immense effort.
Sending strength, love and support to you and Kathy. Thanks for being such a pillar of strength for my mum. She is holding her own. She is up and down, as to be expected, but overall she is so strong. We are finding ways to move forward while holding Tom's spirit close to our hearts. He also left a beautiful legacy behind, and I am so deeply grateful for our connection and his support over the years. I was very touched by your note. Thank you.
With warmth and gratitude,
xo Jalynn
So, Don, your friend played a significant role, without knowing it, in Jalynn's life. And he shrunk the circle of people involved in both our lives. Magic.
I talked to Sandy a few days ago, and I said to her, that the world really is a smaller place than we believe. And she said, "Still, I wouldn't want to paint it". And we laughed. "That's Tom's line", she said.
Kath is headed into a new year in her life. I am still going to stay with her, as old as she is. I don't know if she is up for the same thing. Surgery for me is scheduled for Tuesday morning. I will not be able to type, for quite a while, so forgive me, if next week's post is delayed. Down to one hand for the foreseeable future. Another gift of cancer.
Stain above my watch is melanoma nasty.
Love from Florida. Hugs to all.
jrobinmullen@gmail.com
On The Stereo: Gulf Of Mexico: Shawn Mullins
I would like to tell you about some of last week's events. I will try to keep it short and to the point. Hopefully I can remember the point, when and if I get to the end. Hang on.
My good friend and best man at my wedding, Don Young, called to apologize for not calling over the past few weeks. He had been at the beck and call of one of his oldest friends and roommate in college. His friend had just died, and Don was heartbroken. His friend had, for months, been fighting a losing battle with cancer, and had suffered, painfully, for far too long.
Don knew that I had lost several friends over the past year, one of whom I had known for almost 50 years. We were experiencing a similar grief.
There is an expectation of death. We know it will take the elderly (anybody older than you), and the longer it takes to show up, the more satisfied we are. When our parents die, or an older friend or neighbor, we hear comments. "He lived a long life." "She didn't suffer at the end." It might take some time to heal from your loss, but we do. And we understand. And we move on.
Eventually, people of our era, also pass on. And sometimes it is not a peaceful exit.
When we lose a contemporary, especially one who is close to us, we are stricken. Logic evades us, and emotion intercedes. Pure, painful, crippling, emotion. Grief so raw that it cannot be tolerated. We do not lose a sliver of our life, we lose a timber of our foundation. A part of who we are is gone. Someone who shared in your making. Who helped forge your character. Someone who was there when you wanted to laugh or when you needed some help, or comfort. Gone.
Your world has suddenly diminished. You will be forever, more lonely. A new weight is added onto your life's journey.
I did not know Jim Hayhurst, but I have listened to Don talk of him over our many years together. Don and Jim and Bill Simpson were fraternity brothers, roommates, and inseparable. They all went on to do great things, and they remained friends, until one moved on. They called themselves the SHY guys, and they laughed and loved their way through life, talking to each other, often. And this was a numbing blow.
When Don and I said goodby, on the phone, he said Jim's obit should be in the paper. I was curious. I knew that Jim had been a giant in advertising. I had seen his company in the business section of the newspapers during my time in Canada. I had never associated the owner of the business as being Don's friend. Don always talked about their early days and the essence of his friends, and never about wealth or station. Don is like that. He never brags or "drops names", to show his importance. Only during this phone conversation, did I discover that his friend was the famous Jim Hayhurst.
My curiosity was tweaked. I wanted to know more about him.
His obituary was out the next day. I found it online in the Globe And Mail, one of Canada's national newspapers. It might well have been in others, but the article gave me what I needed.
JIM HAYHURST SR. Jim (Hurst/Dippy), son of Jean and Palmer Hayhurst, passed away February 29, 2020 at his farm near Collingwood, Ontario, surrounded by his children Cindy (Cid), Jim Jr. (Jimmy) and Barb (Boo), and his loyal dog, Scout. He spent his final days telling stories and sharing advice with his seven grandchildren (Ben, Statten, Quinn, Cameron, Tatum, Griffen, and PJ); supported by his kids-in-law Scott Hanson, Beth Hayhurst and Paddy Flynn; and remembering old times with his brothers George and Doug, plus countless friends who visited, called and wrote. Jim never had a bucket list because "My life has been the most incredible series of people and adventures. Even I wouldn't have come up with that list." In 1969, Jim caused an international incident by photographing Russians drinking Alberta Vodka in Red Square for an ad campaign. He devised infamous strategies at PC leadership races, including John Crosbie's ill-fated blimp. He was part of the tiny but mighty Arctic Trading Company when they beat LL Bean and Neiman Marcus for "Global Catalogue of the Year." He invested in first-time entrepreneurs, often women, including the Kettle Creek Canvas Company and Smith & Jamieson Tea. Through the 1970s and '80s, Jim and his team built Hayhurst Advertising into one of the top agencies in Canada, acquiring options to buy firms in 28 countries before selling to Saatchi & Saatchi in 1985. Too young to retire, he committed himself to making a difference. He was the Chairman of Outward Bound Canada. He created the Hayhurst Career Centre, helping hundreds of people articulate their goals and achieve professional success. His "Wagon Master" metaphor captured his character better than any other title. In 1988, he and Jimmy were members of the Canadian Everest Expedition, an experience that became a speech and best-selling book, The Right Mountain. Four years later, they co-founded Trails Youth Initiatives (Trails), an award-winning outdoor-based program that sees nearly 100% of its at-risk youth graduates complete post-secondary education. Trails was his last great love and he wanted everyone to know about it. He gave the best hugs - and always to those who needed them most - whether they were an inner-city kid wanting to give up or a Bay Street CEO wanting to give back. He did both in his final days. Jim gave everyone nicknames and was adored by all who knew him. He was Canada Post's favourite stop, every executive assistant's favourite phone call and a trusted confidante to his kids' friends - and friends' kids.
This is only a portion of the article. But in this particular section I discovered the possibility of some magic. The little piece about "the blimp".
My dear friend Tom MacMillan, had been a big player in Canadian politics. He too, was deeply involved with the infamous "blimp".
At a candidates rally for the Progressive Conservatives leadership, many years ago, a stunt to create enthusiasm, went south. Inside a large arena, packed with people, all there to nominate their party's next leader, a radio controlled blimp, a large blimp was released, with Crosbie's name and the party logo, printed in huge letters on its sides. Likely due to a myriad of radio interference signals inside the building, and security issues, the blimp lost radio contact. It was on its own. It bumped into everything. It took banners down. It smashed into stage structures and it knocked people over. Thankfully, no one was seriously hurt. Maybe, just maybe, the guys who decided to put this thing up, felt a little pain. Embarrassment. Remorse. And their man lost the nomination. The good news, was the fiasco immediately became Canadian political legend. The culprits - Hayhurst and MacMillan.
So Don's great friend, and my old friend, knew each other. They had to. Sadly, neither was now around for confirmation. I called Sandy, Tom's wife, to see if she had ever met Jim, or if she knew him through Tom. She did not. Oh, well, I thought, a bit of a dead end.
Then she told me that she knew Jim's brother and his family, as they were members of the same golf club. In fact, she remembered that, years ago, she had given her daughter a book , written by Hayhurst, called The Right Mountain.
I don't know why any of this matters. Don's phone call and his depth of love for his friend, somehow set me on a mission. A mission without purpose. I had this insane belief that both Don and I were involved in this concoction of friends and death. There was a link. I don't even know why there was any import to my mission. But I was fixated.
From the beginning of my business career, these two friends, Tom and Don, have been my allies and mentors. They had been at numerous Mullen functions - weddings, birthday parties, and the likes. But they did not "know" each other. And for some reason, I have brought them some commonality. And for some really stupid reason, I feel good about it. And Jim Hayhurst, in his death, was totally responsible.
My buddy, Matson, and I, have often talked about how small our world is. How we find, and know many of the same people. John claims that we are all emptied into a funnel and eventually, as the funnel narrows, you are surrounded by people with similar attributes, occupations, homes, and lives. Good analogy I guess.
And the world in which we live our lives, is not so large after all. If you take some time to talk to people, ask questions, and pay attention, fabulous things might happen. We may find some shared history, friends, and sometimes, even love, and inner peace. The answers are often right in front of us. Often, we just do not know the right questions.
I asked, "who was Jim Hayhurst?", and now we all know. He was a titan in his industry and one of our great philanthropists. For me, he was a friend of my friend.
And, the kicker. I received the following from Sandy's daughter.
Dear Robin,
My Mum passed along your note. Thanks for sharing the kind words. Tom and I shared a special connection. He has been my greatest cheerleader throughout my business. I think we are all shocked that ALIVE Outdoors has done as well as it has. This is our 20th year in business, and every day I miss Tom, and sharing stories with him, picking his brain on things, etc. There are so many things I immediately think to share with him, and have to have faith that he is somehow still in the know.
It's funny you mentioned Jim Hayhurst. When I was lost in my 20s, and wanting to leave teaching in the classroom Jim helped me figure out my next steps. I read his book The Right Mountain at the perfect time in my life, and he was gracious enough to meet with me when I wrote him asking for help. He is a man who has left an incredible legacy. He will undoubtedly be missed by countless people.
I wish we had found the time to connect when you made the long trip to share in Tom's celebration of life. It sounded like that was an epic, hard trip for you. I am so sorry that it turned out to be so draining on so many levels. I have no doubt that Tom knew you were there. He values your friendship immensely. Thank you for making the immense effort.
Sending strength, love and support to you and Kathy. Thanks for being such a pillar of strength for my mum. She is holding her own. She is up and down, as to be expected, but overall she is so strong. We are finding ways to move forward while holding Tom's spirit close to our hearts. He also left a beautiful legacy behind, and I am so deeply grateful for our connection and his support over the years. I was very touched by your note. Thank you.
With warmth and gratitude,
xo Jalynn
So, Don, your friend played a significant role, without knowing it, in Jalynn's life. And he shrunk the circle of people involved in both our lives. Magic.
I talked to Sandy a few days ago, and I said to her, that the world really is a smaller place than we believe. And she said, "Still, I wouldn't want to paint it". And we laughed. "That's Tom's line", she said.
Kath is headed into a new year in her life. I am still going to stay with her, as old as she is. I don't know if she is up for the same thing. Surgery for me is scheduled for Tuesday morning. I will not be able to type, for quite a while, so forgive me, if next week's post is delayed. Down to one hand for the foreseeable future. Another gift of cancer.
Love from Florida. Hugs to all.
jrobinmullen@gmail.com
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