The Universe Calls

 

The Universe Calls 

In My Bloodstream: Lisinopril,  Amlodopine,  Omeprazole, Tamsulosin and Keytruda - and now Yervoy and Prednisone

On The Stereo: The Song Remembers When: Tricia Yearwood

I am  now on so many drugs I cannot be bothered to list them all.  If you would like, just ask and I will gladly provide them, and their dosage.  

As a result, my ability to properly focus, is not in full function mode.  The neuropathy in my left hand has worsened as well, but I am hopeful that with time, things will improve.  I am battling fatigue, the like of which I have never encountered.  I have taken time off from writing, and so apologize my lack of information.  The story is long.

Kristin, Doug, Avet, Eli, the dog Charlie Bucket, and the seven month old puppy (giant), Valkyrie, returned to celebrate my birthday, at the suggestion of the Child Bride.  The stress in our house has been palpable for the past few months.  A family visit meant everything.

And I will only talk of this.  The medical story will come.  Do not worry.  I am better than I thought possible.  

We had an incredible time.  We were active.  Doug continued his work from here, and Kris and the boys spent long days at the pool and riding bikes.  

The Tysons kayaked on the Weeki Watchee River where they glided past manatees, mullet and turtles in the beautiful spring fed waters. 

We met for lunch at the club almost every day.  A cold beer in the sauna in which we live, was indescribable.  Kat and I played several rounds of golf.  The results were ugly, but we managed to finish each round.  The Florida heat and humidity took its toll.  But dogged determination and commitment won over the weather.  I think.

Doug took on the responsibility to complete all those tasks which I had started and petered out.  Bushes and trees were trimmed, squeaks were  quietened and electricals were repaired.  I told him of my love for him, even if he had stolen the heart of my daughter. 

We also had many retrospective moments, and even managed to map out plans in case my decision to be here next year was unduly thwarted.  But I don't think we need worry.  Honest.

Meals, cocktails, games and movies.  Every day filled.  My birthday was not a big celebration. It was my family.  And I was so happy.

And they drove home to Raleigh the morning after.   A void was left.

Coincidences

It is said, often in this house. that all things come to Robin.  I have mentioned this before, and would like to relate my most recent bombardment to my senses.

I mentioned finding a golf ball a few weeks ago.  It had a dragon logo.  I gave it to Kris, to throw in the bottom of a drawer, where it might be found, from time to time, and perhaps bring back a memory.

I was reading the latest GQ, which for some reason just shows up in our mailbox.  It contained an article about Jason Sudekis, who, I found, shared my thoughts on "receiving messages".  I think the universe constantly feeds us information, and not all of us are prepared to listen.  To be receptive.  Probably just a coincidence. 

Stephanie phoned to wish me a happy birthday.  My first call in years.  She had sent presents for me, including party hats and noisemakers.  She also was too generous in her gifts.  I received an Echo Dot and a Kindle Paper White.  Sadly, the Tysons had left prior to the gift's arrival.  I need tech help and my staff had left town.  

We talked.  And that was everything I needed. 

When I hung up, I plummeted into a full-blown breakdown.  Doug was in the Alabama room, working, and the rest were out.  I lost all control.  I started sobbing.  Loudly.  I bent over, headed for the floor, and Kat grabbed me and guided me into our bedroom, where I dropped face down on our bed.  The poor dogs knew something was amiss and would not leave me.  Both pushed into my legs, and they too, started crying.  I was a mess.  

Never before had that sort of thing happened.  I suppose cancer, drugs, lost child, found child and tumult, were just too much.  The circuit breakers gave out.

The last meaningful prior conversation that Stephanie and I had was about a movie that she wanted me to watch.  She and I had often discussed her issues with regard to religion and science.  

I have long thought that there was no division between the two.  That there was a confluence - they could share a space, and remain harmonious.  One did not have to choose one over another.  

When I was eventually settled, I turned on the television, and advertised on Showtime, was a Jodie Foster movie called Contact.  The star plays the role of Eleanor, the name of our first granddaughter.  She wears a red coat.  I had purchased Steph a red Burberry coat for Christmas, now more than a few years ago.

The movie concerns a scientist wrestling with faith.  This was the movie.  This was Stephanie's conundrum.  And now - right now, it was placed on front of me.

And the next day, the Olympics began.  Opening Ceremonies.  And midway through, five singers began to sing John Lennon's masterpiece, Imagine.  My mom's favorite song. 

And on our last day of golf - my birthday, I reached into my bag and pulled out a single tee.  

                               Thought they were all gone.  But no.  Their wedding date.

The next morning, as usual, I turned on my music and pictures, while making breakfast. Of well over 10,000 songs, the song referenced at the top, played first.  My songs do remember when.  Every detail comes back. A more appropriate and loved song does not exist in my library.

Coincidences.   Chock-a block.  

But I hear and see and feel.  My receptors are up.

I will try to be better for you.

Thank you for all you do and have done.

I ain't leaving yet.

For my birthday Kat bought me a new golf bag.  That optimism will be rewarded.