The Intestinal Revolution

 

The Intestinal Revolution.

In My Bloodstream: Lisinopril,  Amlodopine,  Omeprazole, Tamsulosin and Keytruda - and now Yervoy,  Anti-diarrhea and Prednisone

On The Stereo: To Begin Again: Ingrid Michaelson

About time I brought y'all more up to date on the state of my health.  I have been ducking the subject for several reasons.  The most critical being that I have had no idea whether or not the melanoma mass has continued its march into my brain.  I thought that might be useful to know.

However I still have no clue.

Given the fact that I am still here, that I have had three doses of Keytruda and one Yervoy, and there are plans to move forward, let's all agree that we are still in some kind of control of my future.

To understand my current and continuing condition, we have to speak of some shitty things.  I do not want to be rude - or at least more rude than normal - so I will try to defer from saying shit again.  No shit, I will.  Try, I mean.

There is a wild and uncontrollable battle taking place inside my stomach.  The infusions have gifted me diarrhea.  A condition which takes less time than it would to actually print the word.

The partner of said diarrhea is colitis.  They are a team.  One peels your stomach lining and the other creates swelling which causes severe abdominal pain.

To help offset the pain, I have been taking massively high doses of steroids (Prednisone).  After every bout of said diarrhea, I have been taking  heavy doses of anti-diarrhea pills.

So the effluential (my word) turmoil on the roiling abyss which is my stomach, has taken its toll.

The combination of these drugs both help and offset any normalcy I might have.  I can hear you say out loud, "You? Normal?"  Try to behave, please.  It is my story.

There are two ongoing struggles at play.  One, in my intestines and the other in my head.  The steroids are mind-jolting and the anti-diarrhea makes me groggy.  So, my days are unruly and at times, unmanageable.  And mood swings might be an issue.  I don't think Kat has noticed them, so we will put a lid on that, for the time being.  

Sleeping has been highly impossible for me.  The steroids keep my bladder active and I have not had, but for one night, more than one hour of sleep.   During the day, I will nod off for short periods - even when sitting in a chair.  I have been a mess.

Many of my toilet bouts have come at night, as well.  And my friend tells me that I need to be retrained to go to the bathroom during the day.  Our bathroom light might well be a light house.  On and off.  On and off.

You have heard of an earthquake after-shock.  And expressed a thought, followed by an afterthought.  In my case, An important decision has to be made on every trip.  Which way do I face?  Do I stand or do I squat?  Different directions are at play.  Complications.   The wrong choice could be very messy indeed.  Often I squat, and then, as I rise, realize that I am not done.  My task was incomplete.  I have an "aftersquat".  Take that Webster's.

Writing, of late, has been most difficult for me.  My inability to properly focus for any length of time, exacerbated by bouts of neuropathy in my left hand, drives me absolutely bonkers.  Failure is not an option for me.  I just cannot handle it.  I beat myself up, knowing full well, outside agents are the cause of my ineptitude.  I think that I should still be better.

If any of your have ever read a Hunter S. Thompson book, it has now become my life.  We are simply on different drugs.  His were recreational.  Mine are (supposedly) life-saving.  Both of us have displayed a similar amount of overt weirdness.

Thank you for your patience.  

We are managing our time well, and despite the topsy-turvey pace, we enjoy every minute we have.  There are days that drag on, plagued by low energy and  lack of commitment.  There have also been days that we have played a full round of golf, in 90° heat.  Better than many could handle, I'll bet.  My bride has been a trooper. 

My stories will continue as often and as regularly as is possible for me.  If a week is missed, it will not be because of a serious health issue.   My Kath will let you know.

So many of our family and friends have called or written, concerned for our well-being.  Thank you.  

There are some times that I lack the energy to  talk, but please, do not take that as a sign that I do not care.  I do.  I really do.  I need your affection and your prayers.  We need them.  I know they work.  My emotions sometime escape me, and I am embarrassed with my failings.  And I retreat.  I will try to be a better person.  

Glad to be back.

Love from the South.